the pliability of our perception of time

Me: Happy New Year!

World: It’s February.

Me: Says you.

World: Says me, the Gregorian Calendar and over six other billion on this planet. I’d add “Q.E.D.” but it seems redundant.

Me: Do I get points for trying?

World: Not really, no.

Me: Fine. I accept your apology.

World: I didn’t apologize.

Me: I know _you _are, but what am I?

World: I’d rather not say.

Me: I win!